Chapter 40 of 45
~ Fear ~
Original publisher edition · Original text checked October 6, 2026.
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~ Fear ~
Fear grows loud as the lights go out It fills the dark with shape and doubt
Sound travels
Stretches
stays especially where eyes look away
Fear is heard first
It always is It speaks in echoes where sight is hid
Hearing alone begins to guess building a shape from shapelessness
So fear grows vast
Immense
near because nothing…or EVERYTHING confirms what I think I hear
My sanity clutched
white knuckled and dear I shed quiet tears in a terror sincere
I listen
I’m still I measure the sound
It stretches it swells
it toys me around
Do I dare even peer
Do I look
Do I see Or let echoes decide what happens to be Or what may or might-
WHAT SHOULD happen to me
For sound loves the dark where it dresses in lies wearing costumes of dread
with a grin I imagine much too wide
It hums when I’m still
It taps when I wait It sings little songs about hope
And yet
about fate
Sound is energy
Energy stays It bends It moves
YET IT DOES NOT DECAY
Fear is not silence
Fear is not void Fear is raw energy left unemployed
In darkness sound fills the role that vision plays in naming the whole
What is not seen is free to become whatever the hearer dreads hates loathes and shuns
Motion continues
Movement persists Repetitive circles form where exits fail to exist
One impulse runs
Another resists A third softly insists
For your safety
cease and desist--
Sound fills every space that your sight refuses spaces your monster chooses to sharpen its tricks and ruses to catalyze untold confusions with confounding confucius truths and turning avoidance into prudence and virtue into muses of secretive and egregious strategic moral abuses
So fear stacks and swells
and tightens its hold a gravity well without a mold
Fear grows loud where eyes do not act not because sight has failed but because self-preservation made a pact
Now
eyes may close
Not to flee Not to hide But to rest inside what has been named
Closed eyes rest the world and loosen its edges let the mind wander let it leap its own hedges Let it soar in the clouds let it jump from tall ledges trace unknown paths
where fear once demanded wages
From the dredges closed eyes stretches sketching and etching new known knowledges as I the fledgling fledges undoing fealties of old wretches and the hell of legally binding pledges
Closed eyes let meaning breathe and rearrange let truth settle slowly instead of feeling so strange
Here darkness is not threat It is shelter For fear no longer hunts for NOW AT LEAST for now it is a helper…
It stands watch while thought recombines while memory softens its sharpest most damaging confines
Fear grows loud when the lights go out fills every shadow with shape and doubt
Sound takes over
spreads its fame claims the dark waiting to be named
That is fear
the sound that rules those with closed eyes and buried heads Those that are fools
But FEAR is also different
FEAR is mere FEAR can be easily be-/de-faced
even with only your Ears
Listen first
Not to obey but to stay long enough to hear it say
I am energy I do not die I speak and shout I laugh and cry
Ignore me and I swell unchecked Face me and I’ll change context
For sound that’s heard but never seen grows monstrous in what lies between
Yet sound that’s heard pursued and made known it becomes information EVEN WISDOM but not a tyrannical throne
So eyes open
not to fight not to flee but to finish what ears begin to see
Sight confirms what sound conveys Darkness brightens
Meaning stays Terror fades
Truth invades
fear de(-)/grades Understanding made Fear does not leave
It shifts its place No longer a monster
now just my face
And eyes may close again unafraid to where songs are held and stories portrayed
Where meaning performs in resting thought where truth is kept not overwrought
That is FEAR
the kind that guards that keeps the dark from breaking hearts
The maze stays vast Alive Aware Not escaped Not ruled Still there
Sound still speaks Silence still listens Nothing still moves Nothing still quickens